make it stop

2004-09-28

This is a real email. From a real person, that I have to see once a week. I received it yesterday and I still cannot believe that they are serious. 


Hi Everyone!
WOW! What a powerful group! Your willingness to lead your selves has created a synergy which will move us all forward! Congratulations!

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.....If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."
David Henry Thoreau

Course Assignment Sheet Session 3A: Commit to Strengthen Relationships
Most people would like to improve their memories---but how??? In this session we will teach you a system for remembering thoughts and ideas more readily. The technique is called Memory Pegging. To prepare yourself, please review the following "peg words" each associated with a number.

Most people would like to improve their memories---but how??? In this session we will teach you a system for remembering thoughts and ideas more readily. The technique is called Memory Pegging. To prepare yourself, please review the following “peg words” each associated with a number.

  • one run
  • two zoo
  • three tree
  • four door
  • five hive
  • six sick
  • seven heaven
  • eight gate
  • nine wine
  • ten den
  • eleven eleven
  • twelve shelve
  • thirteen hurting
  • fourteen sorting
  • fifteen lifting
  • sixteen licking
  • seventeen movie screen
  • eighteen waiting
  • nineteen shining
  • twenty plenty
  • twenty-one dueling gun

 This series of peg words with numbers is the critical starting point for the memory technique. Practice these whenever you can between now and Session 3.


Session 3B: Increase Self-Confidence
What subject do you know more about than anyone else? Answer: Yourself. That is, quite simply, what we are going to ask you to speak about. More specifically, think of a childhood incident that stands out vividly in your mind. Please focus on a specific incident that you see as a "defining moment" in your childhood; one that, looking back, helps us better understand who you are today. It might be a conversation with a parent and the lesson you learned from their wisdom; your first bike and the pride of ownership you gained from it; your first puppy or pet and your first taste of the responsibility for caring for another living being; a special little buddy you played with and how you learned the joys of friendship; the fort you built in the field behind the house and the resulting sense of knowing how to do a job well; the time you caught the field on fire and you current concern for safety; your most special holiday or birthday, camping with the family, or learning to swim, and the resulting joy of spending time with loved ones as an adult. Pick a specific incident and tell us about it in 2 minutes. Think about your topic and practice by giving this talk to your mirror, your dog, your friends, or your spouse or significant other. By Session 3 the talk will simply flow from you. Please do not write out your talk word for word or try to memorize it. Come prepared to be relaxed and just relive this specific incident with us. Believe in yourself! Your talk planning sheet can be found on page 3.11 in your manual.

See you Friday! Make it a bright sunny day!


Wh-h-hat? Huh?

I've read this about 80 times now and I still can only say WHAT THE FUCK? Cockney rhyming slang with numbers? Why? Childhood memory sharing? It never actually states that it has to be a real memory, so I'm working on something about me falling down a mineshaft and how I developed a taste for drinking my own urine. I can't wait to "relive this specific incident" with the class. I'm open to suggestion, though, so if you can think of anything sufficiently frightening let me know.

Schwest has pointed out that Thoreau is Henry David, not David Henry.  My mom wants to know how memorizing numbers with help me "strengthen relationships".  Mom was also quite disappointed that they couldn't come up for anything to rhyme with eleven.  She suggests "eel oven".  I still want to know if these people are for real. 

Somebody stop the train.  Because I really need to get off.

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