At least I feel needed


Dear SUV driver in front of me,

Why must you stop before every speed bump? Was your vehicle not built to climb mountains? Wouldn't it suffice to merely slow down before each of the three speed bumps in our company's drive way?

Dear Six Sigma Black Belt,

I realize that my controls are not "idiot proof". I cannot control people's minds (yet). Perhaps you should have thought of this before you applied a manufacturing process to a transactional environment. I cannot be held responsible for your faulty design.

Dear Mint Chocolate Chip Meringues,

Why are you so tasty?

Dear Brain,

If you don't stop goofing off and learn all there is to know about network security, you will fail the exam. So get

As you may be able to tell, I'm having an "off" sort of a day. Not only did Mr. Black Belt get all up in my mix this morning about Poke Yokeing my controls, he then asked me if I'd had a late night last night. When I questioned him, he went on to say that I looked a little "rough around the edges". Hmph! Even more infuriating is that I have no idea what he is talking about. I'm even having a good hair day.

It's rare that a television show can so absorb me that I forget to close my mouth and end up drooling on my shirt (unless I've been prescribed painkillers, and then that is my reaction to most things). But I'm all about Brini.

I have decided to make a strawberry champagne gelatin for Sunday. It all started with my overly enthusiastic purchase of a half flat of strawberries at Eastern Market last weekend. I knew that the strawberries wouldn't make it through the weekend, so on Sunday I pureed them. I had been thinking about strawberry daiquiris, but now I think I might make a summer gelatin. And what better to pair them with than champagne?

As for the rest of the menu, I am planning on beef hamburgers, buffalo burgers, beer brats, and a fixings table for all including vidalia onions, lettuce, tomato, cheddar, swiss, mushrooms, barbeque sauce and pickles. On the side, there will be baked beans, stuffed potato skins, and a spinach salad. To drink we'll have margaritas, a ginger-lime punch, beer and wine. But what else for dessert? A pie? Brownies? Cookies? Banana pudding? I should probably get some watermelon too, now that I think of it. It's not Memorial Day weekend without some watermelon.

One more reason to stop thinking about gelatin and start studying:

"A year ago, I talked to a guy who said that [Sarbanes-Oxley] would become the 'full employment act' for accountants and lawyers," said Carter Priess, CEO of Pace Solutions Inc., an IT auditing consultancy in Danvers, Ill. "My impression today is that SOX is the full employment act for IT auditors."

hee hee hee.

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