If you follow completely your usual laughing could become frozen or you could die


Know what they did not have in Louisville? Replacement window commercials. That's right, there were NO replacement window commercials. In Detroit, a replacement window commercial plays every 0.28 seconds. So why is Detroit such a huge market for replacement windows? Makes me wonder.

I'm having serious work motivation issues right now. My boss just decided that the 20,000 things I have to do right now wasn't enough, so he asked me to write a generic audit program to evaluate the edit checks of every piece of software we have. Yeah, buddy, right after I invent the self-cleaning toilet and a molecular transport device. I'll get right on that.

Leo is allergic to cats, that's his major flaw. I have lived my whole life with cats. I decided long ago that life with a dog must be at least slightly better than a petless life. So I really looked forward to last weekend's dog sitting. Leo's parents' were out of town, so we brought Chapter over for a trial run (sorry, Sarah, I will do my best at scrubbing out any trace of the dog before Sunday).

I really, really wanted to like the dog. I really, really tried. But I discovered that I am just not a dog person. There, I said it: I do not enjoy the company of dogs.

Because I am only home now for a bout 15 minutes a week, I generally spend that time cleaning. So I cleaned for about 6 hours on Saturday. I vacuumed, swept and mopped all morning. As soon as I was done, every surface was covered by black dog hair. To add to this, the dog also tracked in leaves and grass and drooled out about half of it's water bowl.

If it was just the shedding and dirtiness, I think I could get over it. I mean, cats have fur too so ithe shedding is not that big of a difference (although the amount of hair on a 15 pound cat is far less than on an 80 pound dog).

It's the licking that put me over the edge.

Chapter is very reserved and calm. She is also very obedient. So I didn't think I'd have that big of a licking problem. I mean, when I go over to Leo's parent's house for holidays, the dog rarely tries to lick me. I realize now that that is probably because there are so many other people there. Because Chapter wanted to do a lot of licking this past weekend.

Other than something involving vomit or excrement, I can't think of anything more disgusting than someone or something's saliva being smeared on my person. I know that there are plenty of people who think that it's great; I am definitely not one if them. I am not squeamish; I have no issues changing diapers. But I could not live my life knowing that every moment I was home I might be in danger of some gigantic drippy shedding thing wanting to lick me.

I've heard that dog's mouths contain less bacteria than humans. That doesn't make a bit of difference to me as I do not let ANYONE lick my face (or hand, arms, legs, etc.). Plus a dog's breath really stinks. All in all, I've decide that dogs are filthy messy creatures that I just can not cohabitate with.

So I guess that leaves me petless.

Oh, check out the latest email from Spanish Counterpart:

For edit checks you can use the program I have sent to you, but I think is very long, so try to use it as a guide. If you follow completely your usual laughing could become frozen or you could die...


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