7:00 am: leave for training class in Troy at New Horizons which sounds like a methadone clinic but is, in fact, a �computer learning center�.

7:45 am: arrive early. Then I spilled coffee all over my desk.

11:30 am: Finally, the class broke for lunch. I was so hungry, I thought I�d have trouble driving. I am .4 miles past the distance mark where my company will pay for meals so I planned on having a nice lunch. Instead, I get lost, eat at Arby�s and shop at Kmart.

12:30 pm: Got back from lunch and noticed that there is an �Outlook 1� class. I understand the need for an Excel class, or even PowerPoint.

But Outlook? What kind of schmo can�t use Outlook? The class is full of sad looking middle-aged women. I feel bad.

3:00 pm: The class brakes early for the day. I immediately head to Somerset. I needed to buy a dress to wear to a formal Christmas party and something for my high school reunion.

3:15 pm: Marshall Fields sales lady asks if I need help. I want to say that I am looking for a formal dress with sleeves as I have gigantic white billowing upper arms plus I don�t think its very smart to go around in December in Michigan without sleeves and might she secretly have a seasonally appropriate dress in the store that I could try on. But I say �just looking� instead.

3:20 pm: Try on dresses. I got quite angry that I did not have anyone with me, three dresses were neck-and-neck contenders. I could have used one of those picture phones too, so I could at least get a second opinion.

3:22 pm: Asked a woman in the dressing room to get me a smaller size. She said she didn�t work there. Felt stupid.

3:25 pm: I finally ruled out one of the dresses and decided to buy the other two. Asked the sales lady who so wanted to help me earlier what I could wear over the dresses. She rattled off a long list of things but apparently they did not have any in the department, which is pretty stupid merchandising.

3:32 pm: Shop for shoes. I found a great pair that was on clearance. A shoe sales lady asked if she could help and I just couldn�t contain the rant about how clothes used to have a season, how women should not wear strappy little sandals in Detroit in the middle of winter, and how dresses should be sold with sleeves attached because the fashion industry will soon kill us all off with pneumonia. I got a blank stare in return.

5:00 pm: After shopping around a bit, I bought a sandwich and started the drive to Detroit for more IT instruction.

5:05 � 5:25 pm: Ate potato salad on the on ramp of 75.

6:20 pm: Finally made it to class. Three more hours of �computer learning�, specifically, I got a lecture on software maintenance metrics.

8:12 pm: Get into an argument with my professor. He is talking about this incredibly complicated equation to calculate maintenance project timings but the whole equation is based on the manager�s estimation of how many lines of code will be needed (nowadays saying �how many lines of code� is just as out of date as saying �how many punch cards�). If an equation to estimate timing is based on a guess of effort, why not just cut to the chase and guess time too? Garbage in, garbage out. I really wanted to get into a big philosophical debate on software maintenance metrics and their usefulness in the real world. Unfortunately, he agrees with me immediately.

8:14 pm: Regreted my choice of schools.