First, let me start by offering one more piece of evidence that the end of the world is nigh:

Two homeless men sue the makers of of a video titled Bumfights: A Cause for Concern, which features homeless men beating each other up, ramming their heads into stone walls, and having the word "Bumfights" tattooed on their foreheads. The two men say they were paid partly with booze.

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I got to class a bit early yesterday, which gave me time to bond with my least favorite teacher, Piece of Cooky (so name because he tacks that phrase onto the end of every sentence).� POC was showing some students pictures of his last trip to the homeland (Bulgaria).� In the pictures, he was skiing and of normal weight.� POC is currently a very, very large man.� He remarked on this and said, cryptically, that it was "before the accident".� I questioned this and he told us what happened.

Around five years ago, he was driving in a heavy rain when he picked up a hitchhiker.� He didn't normally pick up hitchhikers, but he felt sorry for the guy because of the rain.� As you may be expecting, the guy pulled a knife on him and demanded his car and wallet.� POC, who was wearing a seatbelt, decided instead to ram the car into a telephone pole.� The hitchhiker, who was not wearing a seatbelt, was launched through the windshield and landed with the knife in his leg.� He was in a coma for 21 days but survived.�

POC ended up breaking 4 vertebrae at the very top of his spine.� The hitchhiker sued POC (ain't that America?).� The hitchhiker was an illegal alien, but he was kept in the country and given a free lawyer (of course) for the extent of the trial.� POC ended up winning, but he was out $20,000 in legal fees.� Plus, his vertebrae disintegrated.� The doctors want to replace his spine with that of a dead person but, because the injury is at the top of his spine and there would be nothing to anchor the new bones, they can't.� Once the injury becomes so bad that he can no longer walk, they will go ahead and try.�

POC has a very limited range of movement now, plus he is on some pretty heavy pain pills, hence the weight gain.� He also shared some tips with the class on how to make marijuana brownies, so I'm guessing that this might also have something to do with it.��� He is moonlighting as a college professor in an effort to recoup his financial losses from the accident.

He told us this about 20 minutes before the class evaluations.� Call me a sucker for a sob story, but it made me change my evaluation of him completely.

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