Leo got up at 4, and I lay sleepless in bed between then and 5. The baby had the hiccups. That or he was kicking me at regular intervals for 20 minutes. If not hiccups, well, this boy's got rhythm.

Dale Carnegie was a treat today. We had to share a business lesson that we have learned. The man who was awarded the coveted best speech prize, told about how he got into a border dispute with his neighbor and chain sawed off half the neighbor's deck. Another man cried about finding a cat that had been hit by a car. Great business ideas, folks. I swear the whole class should be fired. The class would be really funny if it wasn't me in it.

We also had to talk about something that we will commit to having ten times the enthusiasm for. The only thing in my life that I am not enthusiastic about is Dale Carnegie. First we had to give an example of the status quo, then we had to talk about how it will be. Here's mine:

"Our company has to be certified as Sarbanes-Oxley compliant by December 31, 2004. All controls have to be operating effectively for 60 days prior to this. So that is right now. Instead of working on this, I am spending four hours a week in Dale Carnegie class. At least, when the CEO is in jail and the rest of you are laid off and living in cardboard boxes, feeding dog food to your kids because the PCAOB takes us down for non-compliance, you will have the peace of mind knowing that I went through the Dale Carnegie program."

That was the before part.

Then I talked about how, if we had to go down in flames, I might as well go down smiling as there is not a damn thing I can do about it.

Technically, the talk met their requirements. But, I believe as a result of the talk's content, I was made to do an "enthusiasm dance" in front of the class afterwards. Damn you, Dale Carnegie instructors.