"There's a puppy in the parlor and a skillet on the stove..."

So I feel totally poopy today. I am wearing my giant and comfy maternity pants, so that's one consolation.

I just realized that I actually feel hung over. Leo just called my cell phone and the ring was so loud that it hurt my head. Blah.

"...and a smelly old blanket that a Navajo wove..."

I cut the crap out of my legs this morning shaving. Now they itch/hurt.

I have a headache, I'm exhausted and I'm nauseous. That's what I call a hangover. But I haven't had anything stronger than grape juice in 6 weeks.

I got it into my head yesterday that I am selenium deficient. Why? I don't know, I blame the creature in my innards for making me crazy. So I went to TWO grocery stores last night, looking for some Brazil nuts. They both only sold raw unsalted Brazil nuts. Who the hell wants those? Presumably I could boil the nuts with salt water and then roast them like you can with peanuts, but I certainly don't want to take two hours out of my weekend just for 839 mcg of selenium per day. Puh-lease.

And speaking of grocery stores (as this is what my social life now consists of), stop what you are doing and run to Whole Foods. Now. They are currently selling heirloom tomatoes which are AMAZING. And I don't really like tomatoes. I actually ended up eating nothing but a giant bowl of chopped heirloom tomatoes with salt for dinner (which *might* have had something to do with waking up in the middle of the night). Seriously good.

I stupidly choose a plant in Florida as part of my audit sample. I need to interview 25 people from there, and every time I call I get a message like "Hi, this is so-and-so, I'm not in the office right now as we are boarding up the plant windows in preparation for destruction. Please leave a message".

It is so fricking cold in here. I'm going to go die now.