| Dude! He TOTALLY got your rook!
2004-07-27
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There is a
conference room across the aisle from me. This room has no door, so it's like
I'm seated in the middle of every conference. I once asked if a door could be
put on, but I was told that the (Fortune 150) company couldn't afford a door.
We can afford the Smoker's Paradise structure out back, but not a door.
Every Tuesday
this summer, there has been a chess tournament held in this conference room.
Chess sounds pretty quiet, right? Not with these people. It actually sounds
more like a rowdy Dungeons and Dragons tournament. I would never believe that
such boisterous revelry could result from chess if I hadn't been forced to
experience it. And who the hell is in the peanut gallery? Who spends their
lunch hours OBSERVING CHESS? They are probably the same people who find
Celebrity Poker interesting. And there are a lot of them.
All I can say is
that all of IT better watch their asses for the next 7 months. Because I am
ready to go apeshit on each and every one of them.
Today and today
only, Baby can sing the Brittany Spears hit "I'm Not a Fetus, I'm Not Yet an
Embryo". And speaking of Ms. Spears, she is apparently having a Kabalah
wedding. Which just reminds me of how Madonna has taken her under her wing.
Why? There are a thousand more deserving young women for Madonna to mentor
than Brittany "I no longer wash my hair" Spears (including yours truly).
Schwest emailed
me about a baby shower today (which is good, because she knows about how I
need to plan things out months and months in advance). Here's what she sent:
veal
lamb
baby eggplant
baby artichokes
baby shrimp
eggs
suckling pig
baby back ribs
caviar
baby ruth bars
But if you have other ideas we can "workshop" it. Hoo yeah. Oh and the Planned Parenthood "I had an abortion" t-shirts are the sixth sign of the apocalypse.
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