"If we assume that ultimate television paradise could be achieved for me by having Anthony Bourdain beat the crap out of Emeril Lagasse on camera, then I could experience at least a zen moment if Alton Brown were to dedicate an episode of Good Eats to cooking Bobby Flay, even if all he did was to explain that, if you are given a choice, you shouldn't serve Bobby Flay at all because a piece of shag carpet, dry-rubbed and grilled over indirect heat, would have more flavor and contain more nutrients."

I also despise those two. And I really, really like Tony Bourdain (I can call him Tony because we're all tight like that). I think he must have gotten disgusted with TV because he is never on. Perhaps he is writing another book.

I decided that I should go and see a movie last night. Thank goodness I have my own car. That way I do not have to wait for Dating for Dummies and I don't have to see him after hours. It's bad enough that the three of us spend 10 hours a day huddled around a single desk. Anyway, I had a fairly decent dinner by myself (I'm really getting used to eating by myself). I had a salad of baby lettuces with a dunkels dressing and a raw ahi tuna spicy spring roll. Then I moseyed over to the AMC 24. With 24 screens, I'd be sure to find a movie that I'd like, right?

Well, no. There were Van Helsing, the Day after Tomorrow and the Chronicles of Riddick. Noo! Then there was Shrek 2, which violates my policy of never seeing a movie that features a belch in the commercial. I had wanted to see the Stepford Wives, but it got some really horrid reviews and the last time I saw a Nichole Kidman movie I was emotionally scarred for life so that was out. I ended up seeing Saved!

I was a little early, so the theater was empty when I walked in. I got all settled in the absolute center of the theater. After about ten minutes, a group of 20 preteens walked in. That's about when I began to question my movie choice. No one else ever came, it was just me and an entire 7th grade class (although I'm sure that, being Canadian and all, they would have said Grade 7). I felt creepy and suspicious.

The movie was ok. I think I was expecting some sort of South Park type morality, but it was a lot more subtle. Macaulay Caulkin (or however you spell it) was in it and I was very pleasantly surprised by his performance. I actually forgot that it was Macaulay Caulkin, which is always a good thing. Also, Mandy Moore played a bitch, so that was amusing too. I wouldn't rate it up there with Drum Line, but it wasn't an unpleasant way to spend a Thursday in a foreign town.

Leo has told me that we have dinner reservations at 7:30. I have no idea where. We will rendezvous at the romantic and up until now secret B&B near Niagara on the Lake. Tomorrow, we will tour wineries and look at little shops and walk around and hold hands and I'm likely to eat ice cream by the lake and it will fulfill all of my girly "romantic weekend" fantasies (which, apparently, include eating ice cream). I can't wait.