The Dirty Papist Puppet Show


Tomorrow night we have to go to a “work thing”. Obviously, its not my “work thing”, it’s Leo’s. To make it even more dreary, the work thing is on a boat. So there will be no arriving late and no early escape on the excuse that we have a baby. The cherry on top of all of this mess is the dress code: it says, on the invitation, to “think nautical!”. The one person in the family who owns a sailor suit is also the only one who will not be coming. Uh-huh.

I have volunteered to work at vacation bible school this year. But, because I am such a wussy new mom when it comes to leaving my child, I have volunteered to man the nursery. I guess its not just the separation, I also thought of all of the pumping I’d have to do if I left him (I really suck at pumping. Oh! It’s a breast pump pun!). And how to explain the cloth diapers*?

Anyhow, I’ve been charged with finding activities that continue the VBS theme (its on the Eucharist this year) for the 3 and unders. So, how to explain the true presence of Christ to kids still in diapers…? I mentioned to the teaching group that my mother, a Presbyterian, teaches Sunday school to 3 year olds. She wouldn’t have anything about the Eucharist, but she does have Christian-themed age-appropriate activities. I was met with blank stares. Finally, one of the other volunteers said that I could use those things, ”as long as they aren’t anti-Catholic”.

Since that comment, I’ve been trying to envision what an anti-Catholic play activity for 3 year olds would look like. Perhaps one could have “The Dirty Papist Puppet Show”? Sing fun songs about Luther? I only mentioned that she was Presbyterian to explain why she wouldn’t have anything specifically on the Eucharist, which I didn’t think was that big a deal, since the director already suggested that we show Veggie Tale videos, and I’m pretty sure those are Evangelical.

It just kills me how much misunderstanding there is between Protestants and Catholics. I’ve gotten a lot of really stupid comments from Protestants since I converted (one friend was so concerned that I wouldn‘t raise my kids Christian, since – in her mind – Catholics aren’t Christian). I think the ignorance runs both ways.

* and speaking of diapers, we have to change diapers while wearing rubber gloves “for our protection and that of the child”. We were also told that we cannot carry any children, even our own. That will be pretty rough as I’m fairly certain that my 3-month-old son isn’t going to learn to walk in the next two weeks. These are part of the childcare rules that came out in the wake of the molestation scandal. Most of them are good rules. Some of them are pretty stupid.

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