more reasons why I am going to Hell


There is a gray line between a load of diapers and a load of baby laundry. For example, if Owen craps on the changing table pad, do I wash it with the diapers or the clothes? I went with the diapers, figuring it had poop on it and all. Still, I never thought I'd be asking myself such a question.

We had a bad night. It was too hot to swaddle Owen, so his troublesome arms were free. That meant he basically couldn't eat (he be knocking my boob out of his mouth every 2.5 seconds, no matter how tightly I held him) and he couldn't sleep because he kept bonking himself in the head with his hands. At 4 am, I gave up on sleep and decided to rock him in the living room and sing lullabies to him. After the first song, Owen appropriately responded by saying "Ow". I ended up giving him a bottle. It was a bad night.

So today I have been brainstorming baby straightjacket ideas. At first I was going to craft a cotton version of the swaddle blanket. But I'm not much of a sewer ( do you spell that? I hope I'm not much of a sewer either) so that sounded too hard. Then I thought about fastening snaps to his sleeper so I could snap his arms in place at mealtimes. This morning I hit upon a solution that requires no sewing or crafting at all: I just shoved my darling son's head through the sleeve of one of Leo's t-shirts!

That's horrible, right? Well, it worked. And it was the perfect size. It kept his arms around his sides and he was able to eat. The t-shirt is not nearly as hot as the polar fleece blanket we had been using.

So am I creative or just a bad mom for shoving my son into a t-shirt?

And for the next reason why I am going to Hell, Leo and I decided that the new pope looks like emperor Palpatine and sounds like Dr. Strangelove. Did you see the live EWTN broadcast of the white smoke? It was HILARIOUS. Neither the anchor or the priest he was speaking to could figure out what was going on. Seriously, it was like a stand up routine. By last night, all the news stations were freaking out that the new pope is upholding Catholicism (by condemning homosexuality, birth control, etc.). Gee, did you think the pope would be Unitarian? The news is a larf.

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