carpe frigus


The bathrooms at the new office have both automatic faucets AND automatic soap dispensers (I know! Fancy, right?). Well, I THOUGHT it was fancy. For a day or two. Then I realized that the soap dispenser is actually too close to the faucet. The initial wetting and soaping of the hands goes just fine. But the final rinse is problematic. Basically, the auto-soap gun is set to rapid fire as one is trying to rinse one's hands. It is nearly impossible for me to leave the bathroom and not have liquid soap on the back of my left hand.

I'm wearing a sweater. This is pretty amazing, because I've felt like I was on the verge of bursting into flames every day since conception. The old office was particularly horrible. It was so hot, I got to experience under boob sweat for the first time in my life (I don't like to sweat, which is one of the many reasons I hate exercise). I really thought that part of the heat problem was just me. Guess not, because I am almost - I said almost - chilly in the new office.

There is something that resembles a thermostat in my cube (I know, a palm tree AND a thermostat? What is this, the executive suite?). I was drunk with the thought of the power I had over the whole floor when I saw it. But there are no controls on it. I don't even know if it works. OH. MY. GOD. It does, actually. I just looked at it again. And I saw the switch for the first time. And I flipped it, and the AC turned off. I AM THE MOST POWERFUL PERSON IN THE OFFICE. Your comfort depends entirely on my mood! The environmental controls are in the hands of a pregnant lady! BEWARE!!!! BWHAHAHAHAHA! AIR CONDITIONING - ENGAGE!

Wow. That's so cool. It even makes up for the soap dispenser.

I've already told people that the thermostat doesn't work. I think I'll keep that story. Last time I had access to a thermostat, they put a locking acrylic box around it. That was four years ago...but mine enemies are still around (shh! They could be listening to us even now!). This situation calls for stealth and strategery. I must work on a cunning plan. Maybe I'll hang my calendar over the thermostat. They'd never figure it out.


OK, that was a little intense. I have completely given up on doing actual work at this point, so I don't have a lot going on.

I'm all irritated about the baptism. Both Godparents are out of towners, and there is only one weekend this spring when they will both be here (one of them is getting married). So it would make sense to do the baptism then. We can't do it that Saturday, because of the wedding. We can't do it that Sunday, because Leo's cousin is having her first communion. And Leo's sister is getting confirmed on Wednesday, so that's already 3 sacraments in four days. I am now thinking that we might be able to do the baptism on Friday afternoon. I hate the thought of not doing it during a mass, but I guess its more important to have the family there. Plus, I was all excited about my brunch menu. If we do it on Friday, we'll all just rush off to the rehearsal dinner and I won't get to cook.

So, Shannon, should you ever read this, you really need to get cracking on the bridal shower invite list. Because if I don't plan something soon, I might explode.

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