coming out of the heartburn closet


I think I'm finally ready to admit that I have heartburn issues. I don't know why, but I really thought that if I pretended it didn't exist that it would go away (sounds logical, right?).

I still can't figure out what triggers it. I think I might be able to classify the trigger agents as "food" and "drink" and, more in general, "being pregnant". I had some low sodium wheat thins this morning at 3 am (darn it all, I got up too early to watch The Adventure of English on the History Channel) and then went back to bad. And now it feels like I drank Draino. It hurts to drink water!

And, since I'm on a roll o' complaints, let me tell you about how frickin tired I am and how sick of this cold I have become. Blech.

I had another midwife appointment yesterday. She said that I could "go any day now". Logically, I know that means I have another month. But the much larger, much less logical part of my brain has put a lot of stock in the comment. I also found out that I'm strep B negative, so I won't have to have an IV. Hallelujah! IVs kind of freak me out and I hate the whole being tethered to a pole aspect. I mean, how am I supposed to relax in a hot tub with a big old IV poking out of my hand?

I also met with the doula last night. We met at my house, and I was a little afraid that she would call child welfare on us because it looks like a construction site. But she was very cool about it. We have one more meeting with her before showtime.

I got a call very early this morning about German router configurations. I didn't follow it. Because I have already started maternity leave mentally and I no longer have the capability to understand such nonsense. Instead, I have the chicken diaper on my desk and its distracting. I brought it in at the request of my coworkers, who had never imagined that such a thing exists. And now they think they can go from talking about chicken diapers to German routers. My brain just isn't wired to do that.

I think we've figured out a baptism date: April 10. I feel a lot better now that we've set the date, so now I can go ahead and do the important stuff, like figure out the menu. Here's what I'm thinking:

    Chive Biscuits

    Purchased Honeybaked Ham

    Salmon Cakes with Tarragon Chive Sauce

    Crème Brulee French Toast with Warm Pecan Syrup

    Spinach and Artichoke Tortellini Salad

    Green Bean and Papaya Salad (I know it sounds weird, but the recipe got rave reviews)

    Balsamic Strawberries

    Purchased Cake

See how I'm "taking it easy" by purchasing the ham and cake? If I'm really tired, I might even buy frozen biscuits. See, I am totally adaptable to the demands of motherhood. And, even though I find purchased cakes to be about the most depressing thing in the world, I think I could handle it if it was from the same patisserie that did our wedding cake (yes, it does make me feel better to call it a "patisserie" over a plain old "bakery").

Of course, I could go ahead and make my own cake if I didn't have such a retarded freezer. It came with the house; its a side-by-side model. The side-by-side thing means that both sides are too narrow to function. I just found out that I can't fit a frozen pizza in it (I'm proud to say that it took me two years to even try). I already know that a 9" round cake won't fit. Which is really, really retarded and useless and the people who designed it should be shot.

Oy. I'm tired.

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