don't know nothing about birthing no babies


Holy crap! Why didn't someone point out that I had passed the 100 days-to-go mark? I think I am at the point where days start flying by instead of dragging.

I did not have the gestational diabetes test yesterday. When they made my appointment - whoops - they forgot that the lab would be closed. That's ok, office staff, I really so have nothing better than to sit in a different medical office every day this week. So I have to go back on Friday. I'm going back to see the midwife in two weeks - yes, its true. I am far enough along that I am now going every two weeks. Crazy.

I decided that I should go to Babies 'R' Us yesterday (as if the Prince-like R isn't annoying enough, they have to put it in quotes AND make it backwards??!?!) to see the stuff I registered for in person. I had it in my head that this was crucial and that I must see everything in person (like how the stroller folds up, how big the inside of the diaper bag is, etc.). In theory that was probably a good idea.

This is pretty much how it went with everything: I confidently walked up to the stroller ("Baby Bargain's" number 1 pick) and looked at it. I tried walking around it and kicking the tires (which was pretty stupid as they are hard plastic). I tried to collapse it by pressing a button. Nothing. I tried another combination of buttons and downward force. Nothing. I looked around for a sales clerk. Nothing. Then I started jumping around and making monkey noises while banging the stroller against the floor.

Truth is that I know as much about selecting baby gear as I would about creating an AIDS vaccine. I never figured out how to collapse the stroller, but it is still on my registry as I couldn't figure out how to collapse any others either. I'm fairly confident that strollers are used to push babies around in but I guess that's where my product knowledge ends.

Not only do I know basically nothing about babies, I am not sure where we will be living (crowded urban apartment building or farmhouse in the middle of nowhere) and I don't, of course, know Owen. Maybe he will have a lot of energy and a bouncer would be great. Or maybe he won't have a lot of energy and it will go unused. That's the problem with asking mother's of experience to help pick out all this stuff. They only know what worked for their kid in their house with them as a mother. How am I supposed to make product selections when all three variables are unknown? As it turned out, it didn't matter at all. Babies 'R' Us never updated my list while I was there so the trip was a total bust.

I have done awfully well in the hand-me-down department, especially for someone who doesn't really know anyone with a baby. My brother-in-law's sister leant me a bassinet (complete with a massage function) and gave me an absolutely adorable bedding set (it's from Pottery Barn and its covered in bugs. I love it, which is pretty shocking because I have some pretty strong, um, "views" on the subject of crib bedding and there is a lot out there that I detest). We have also inherited an infant car seat (don't worry, it passes the inherited infant car seat safety checklist, and no I'm not making that up, there really is a checklist). At least those are things that I will never have to specify.

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