How the hell am I suppose to make a pretty layered vegetable gratin without yellow squash? Riddle me that one Farmer Jack. I have been to THREE grocery stores now and at each one the yellow squash bin is empty. I even had people check to make sure there wasn't more in the back. I'm thinking that I'll layer tomatoes, zucchini, and mushrooms. I mean they are different colors, right?

In a slightly related topic, I had to buy three things at the grocery store today: paper towels, buns and yellow squash. I managed to forget one of my three things! How can I forget something when there were only three things to begin with? Pregnancy does make me stupid. It's like I've taken Nyquil every moment. I am both tired and really mentally slow.

How can I make $850 a month?

Leo, who is really good with finances, has informed me that $700 is standing between me a staying home after the baby is born. That is after we have removed every conceivable expense from our budget. Gone are the luxuries of clothes and meat. I'm not actually sure if he has figured in heating for the winter. That might be out too.

And still we cannot afford for me to stay home. I've padded that figure a bit (in the hope that I can occasionally buy hot dogs) and now I need to figure out how to make $850 a month without greatly impacting my SAHM-iness (for those of you not constantly frequenting pregnancy chat boards, that means stay at home mom).

$850 is both a very small and a very large amount of money. If I could take what I make now but scale it back to one day a week, then it would be very easy to do. But I don't see my present company doing that. I mean, who wants an employee that only comes in once a week? I might (and that's a really iffy might) be able to work out something for 20 hours a week. But that's overkill. I don't want to have to stick my kid at some horrid germ-filled kinder care while I am working for the man (not that I'm judging people who do).

About a year and a half ago, I was offered a job teaching community college. I turned it down because I thought it was too much work for the money but now I can't for the life of me remember how much money I was talking about. I think it was something like $2000 per class, per semester. If I could pick up two classes a semester, that might work. But then my days will be filled with 18 year olds. I guess I could handle that. Plus it all hinges on me actually getting a teaching job with no experience.

Paper route? Cleaning houses? Leo actually said that I have as good a chance of "going pro" with cleaning as he has of becoming a pro golfer (another suggestion of mine). Perhaps I could watch other kids? Do I know any kids? Um, no I don't. How does anyone afford to stay at home? And why is there an inverse relationship between the amount of money one can make per hour and the number of hours worked?