Many questions sparked by 5 minute drive back to office


On the way back from lunch, a coworker and I pulled up behind an SUV. I first thought that the woman in the car was maybe gesturing with some sun glasses in her hand. Then I realized that the 8 inch long spikes were actually attached to her hand. So I logically assumed that she was driving while wearing an alien costume.

Then I saw a thick ropey thing that was coming out of her head, so I thought she was the alien from Predator. I couldn't stand it any longer, so I pulled up next to her. Turns out that she had dread locks and 8 inch, curly, manicured finger nails! They weren't just polished, they had actual patterns on them and charms coming off of them. I can't describe how gross and disgusting they were.

How could she dial a phone? Zip her fly? Put on mascara? Hold a pen? Use exact change? And why would she do that to herself? What is her quality of life?

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