Now that its over, I feel I can share a little story.� It can be summed up as "girl gets cable, cable company attempts to destroy girl's life, girl wins in the end".

When I moved from Detroit (this is January) I moved my cable to the new town.� Because of the Detroit city laws that require all companies within it's borders to give Detroit residents crappy sub-standard service, the cable company had a separate Detroit branch that was not connected to the suburban branch of the same company.� It also placed all of its offices in the absolute scariest industrial warehouse districts within the city.�

I figured I could just move the cable box with me, since I was moving my service and using the same company.� Sounds reasonable, right?� Wrong!!� Unfortunately, I found this out well after moving.� So I put on my Kevlar, rounded up my bodyguards, pit bulls, etc. and went out to the nearest scary uninhabited warehouse district.� The one I chose happened to be sitting on the lip of a large precipice, presumably the gateway to Hell (which makes a short commute for the people who work there).�

After being visually screened, the guard buzzed us in.� We (because I was not doing this sans-Leo) waited in line with some of the scariest people I have ever encountered.� When it was our turn, we walked up to the eight inch thick bullet proof glass and stated our business.� We had to walk over to another section of the B.P.G. to return the cable box.� It was kind of like one of those toddler toys where you slide a square through the square hole, except we slid the cable box through the cable box shaped hole.

This should be the end of a very boring� storey.� Except, it wasn't.� The devil's minions who work at the cable company apparently decided that I had not suffered enough for having left the city of the damned, so they decided to ruin my life.� It came in the form of a collections notice for $230.� I called the company, and the woman cheerfully told me that it must have been a mistake, they show that I returned the cable box (which, incidentally, could not POSSIBLY cost $230) and I should ignore it.� So I did.� But that's what they wanted me to do...

After another collections note, I called the collections company and explained that I did not owe the cable company any money.� The collections person answered "suuure you don't, honey".� They said they'd investigate.� After the investigated, they told me that I owed the cable company $545.07.� I never did figure out where they got that number, perhaps they use some sort of commercial version of the magic eight ball.

I spent the next several months calling the cable company, who assured me that I did not owe them money (in fact, they kept saying that they owed me $19).� They promised that they would send a letter stating that it was all just a big "mistake".� I made that call and received that response on at least three separate occasions.� Did it ever happen?� not once.

I got a letter from the collections agency stating that they were going to destroy our credit in two weeks if we didn't pony up the mysterious $545.07.� I called the cable company and demanded action.� I had names and extensions (which, incidentally, are pretty useless as you can never speak to the same person twice).�

Of course, the cable company couldn't take action in time to prevent our credit being ruined.� They're just too evil.� But, a week after the deadline, someone did call off the collections and the collections agency promised that they would send out a credit damage retraction and a letter of apology.� Of course, I won't believe this until I see it in my own two hands as the credit agency is clearly as evil, or possible even more evil than the cable company.� And the collections company is in Texas, so they don't even have the excuse of being made angry by having to live in Detroit.

Oh! Did you hear?� The Pixies are getting back together, just in time for me to relive high school.� Break out the black and white striped tights because I am THERE.

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