it is never, never ok to make vomit noises in casual conversation

2003-07-14

The city of Detroit sparks intense emotion in people.  People tend to either hate it or love it with the ferocity of a mother bear protecting her injured, crack-addicted and unemployed cub.  Although I often say that I hate it, I think that is maybe too strong.  Instead, I feel towards to Detroit as I would towards a drug addict:  give me a call when you're clean, otherwise leave me alone.  (I'm all about the metaphor today.)

Any way, I came into contact with a ferocious Detroit lover over the weekend (a member of the famed "Bleeding Heart All Stars").  Keep in mind that I had never met this person before. 

We had this conversation:

"Where do you live?"

"I live in <suburb>"

"The SUBURBS???  Bleeech!" she followed it up with the appropriate motions

Did an adult just make vomiting noises provoked by where I live?  Did that just happen?

"Uh.....It's nice.  There are woods, deer, and a river..."

"Deer are horrible pests!"

At that point I decided to stop talking to her.  I wanted to ask if the crack addicts in her back yard were also horrible pests, but I didn't. 

See what I mean?  Detroit makes some people crazy.  It's not like I live in some sort of new suburban sprawl, all white, upper middle class mansion neighborhood.  I live a short mile from the city and my neighborhood is "racially diverse" (although I think it is restricted to black and white...but that's Detroit).  Maybe she really does have something against deer.

 

Anyway,  it is never, never ok to make vomit noises in casual conversation.

 

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