Animals
2003-03-26
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The deer were back yesterday, frolicking away in our backyard like they were nothing special. None have antlers; I'm not sure if that's because it's too early in the year or because they are all female. The deer aren't the only recently returning fauna: the canadian geese are back. I can't think of a single animal I would less like to surround my place of business. Ok, I guess that isn't true. If I had to crawl through a pit of scorpions it would be worse. It would make getting inside the building good by comparison. Anyway, there are at least 20 geese that patrol the outside of my building. They especially like to hang out and defecate on the walkways. There's goose poop all over the first floor. Their heads are at the perfect height to bite humans on the ass. And they are very, very mean. And they really scare me. There is a canadian geese exhibit in the Barcelona zoo. They also have chipmunks and raccoons. Europeans - go figure. Anyway, an angry herd of geese were hanging out by the door yesterday morning. I waited in my car until someone else pulled up. Then I used him as a human shield. I should have just been casual about the whole affair, but I explained what my plan was. Then he said "don't worry, I'll protect you". And I felt really stupid. Almost as stupid as the time I was chased by a squirrel. Or the time I was viciously attacked by a monarch butterfly. But that's another story. I'm taking bets on how long it will be before the deer turn violent.
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