I found this doctor about a year ago. I was impressed with how nice he is and how he actually listens to me; this made me suspicious that he is actually a hospital cleaning person impersonating a doctor. Well, that wasn't the only thing that made me suspicious. The other thing is that he has a mullet almost down to his waste. I noticed today that he used to have his left ear pierced. He must have taken that out when he "became conservative". The weird thing about the mullet is that he is my age. Far as I can remember, that was never popular when we were old enough to sport such hairdos. He must have been one of those boys whose moms let them have tails. Nothing says "I belong to an unclean pack of white trash kids" like a kid with a tail.

Anyway, this guy always looks like he's on his way to 7-11 for a pack of Newports and a Mountain Dew Big Gulp. He made me do all sort of "neurological exercises" which look just like the drunk driving exercises I've seen on cops. He told me that not only am I not drunk, but I do not have a pinched nerve and he has no clue why I have back pain.