Sarah and I went to a bridal store on Saturday to look at some designer dresses  that I really liked. It was in St. Clair Shores, which seems like the other side of the world. Some cities are split between north and south. Detroit, unfortunately, was lobotomized right down Woodward. For west-siders such as myself and Sarah, St. Clair Shores could be a separate country for all I know. In fact, I had been to the Sahara twice in my life before ever setting foot on the East side. But I digress (as usual).

The dresses were straight off the runway and size six only. I am not a large woman (at least I don't think I am) but I ain't no size six. The sales woman told me to take off my shirt and stick my arms through the armholes. It was rather humiliating. All of the dresses in the store cost $1750 - $5000. I had almost rationalized buying a $2000 gown (that I couldn't even try on) at that point, I figured I could do it but I wouldn't volunteer the price in any conversations with Leo. So this went on for about half and hour, sticking my arms through armholes, like at one of those funny picture booths at a fair, when you stick your head through the hole and it looks like you're the strongman (except it looked like I was a skinny bride).  I kept hoping that other customers would be in the same predicament as I, then we could rise up in protest against the bridal industry.  Instead, every other customer was 22, tan , and weighed 12 pounds.  They even had clamps to gather up all of the excess material. Then they stood up on pedestals where everyone could admire their thinness.  Then they whined to their mothers about the dress.  

I knew that I couldn't take much more of this, and the chances that I would fit into a size six at any point in the future was pretty slim.  I was about to give up when I wandered into the bridesmaid's room, just to look. I found a gown on the clearance rack. It was ivory, with a slight train (just enough to look like a wedding dress). I tried it on, it fit perfectly. I asked the sales lady if it could still be ordered.  She said that it had been discontinued.  She put a veil on me and I got my chance before a mirror.

It's a Vera Wang. And it was $60. I bought it.